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How Blogging Saved Me

Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Contrary to the usual definition of summer, with it being a fun season filled with sandy adventures and deeply tanned skin, I find summer to be an unpredictable time. With classes over and a long break, you'd think I would spend it doing things that make me happy, and I do. However, summer actually turns my mind into a dangerous place.

Being unproductive is enough to draw a heavy cloud over my head. I might be spending my time, doing enjoyable things, but in the back of my head, the thought of being useless constantly lingers. I like having things to do, I like having direction, I like creating things with my hands and I like the feeling of accomplishment. It makes me feel like I have something to give, that I'm actually doing something with my life.

I started this blog two years ago, but didn't really work on it until the summer of 2014, and you might have already guessed why. That summer was different in many ways, mainly because I had ventured into a new path that I was unsure of. I thought about things deeply, reevaluating my choices, thinking about my future, and whether or not my dreams were still valid. As my mind emptied of the things I used to think about during regular days, darkness settled in, clasping its hands on my shoulders, befriending me though I never asked it to come near me.

It may just be the existential/negative voice inside my head that never fails to remind me that I'm just another piece of flesh that's going to turn into dust, just like everybody else. Doing nothing makes me feel like nothing. It'll just go downhill the moment I think to myself that none of this matters, that what I do does not matter, that spending my life trying to accomplish something is just stupid, useless. I had begun to think to myself, "What's the point of existing?"

So where does blogging fit into this? I set up my blog in 2013, but all I ever posted were my fanfics, plus some lame pictures in my lame Writing Materials post, which I deleted to avoid embarrassment. I also started university in 2013 with a course that I absolutely loathed, but at that time, I thought I had no choice, so I forced myself to keep smiling. My blog was left to rot underneath layers of floor plans and colored pencils. That was the year when writing was a thing of luxury for me.

Soon after, I had forgotten about that blog. I only resumed blogging in the summer of the following year, when I discovered book blogging. With the depressing feeling still lurking, I spent my days online, watching YouTubers in an attempt to cheer myself up, and then encountering a blog that discussed unpublished books. I was intrigued. To be honest, I only wanted to blog about books/ARCs because I wanted to read them before anyone else, but it was also a wonderful experience. It gave me something to do, and even though my eyes began to tire, I found pleasure in reviewing and connecting with other bloggers. No one read my reviews, but I liked to think the whole world did, and I think that was what got me through.

I spent hours searching for books to review, emailing publishers though my name was unknown to the blogging community. I finally had something to do, something that actually made me proud of what I was doing at that point in my life. My blog became a place for reviews and book discussions, but aside from that, the true thing that altered my mindset was that I was writing again.

From book reviews to opinions, I wrote whatever I found interesting, drawing from the most normal experiences, and sharing them with my thirty followers. It kept me busy, but more importantly, it kept me happy.

So today, on the second anniversary of Hey, it's Gail, I'd like to give thanks to this blog for helping me get back on my feet. I've made countless blogs over the years, abandoning them after a month, but this blog is different. I'm glad I brought it back to life, and I plan on keeping it that way no matter how dark things get. 

It makes me happy, and that's what truly matters.
6 comments on "How Blogging Saved Me"
  1. Congratulations on two years, Gail! It's so nice to hear your story, and I've heard from several people how important blogging is to them. You go girl! :)

    Justine x

    1. So nice to hear from you, Justine! And thank you, blogging has changed everything for me. x

  2. Happy birthday to your blog! (hope that didn't sound weird lol) I just found your blog and I am inlove. All the love - Pia x

    1. Hi Pia, thank you so much! I checked out your blog -- it's so great to meet other Filipino bloggers! Good luck on your first year of college. x

  3. Congratulations!!!!!!


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