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Bound to Boy/Girlfriend?

Sunday, July 19, 2015
Hi. Let me talk to you about something that's been frustrating/confusing/irritating me a lot recently. And before you jump to conclusions that this is about me, let me tell you again that I'm single and sassy, and that most of my posts here are based on observation. 

I've encountered many "oppressed" (the lighter side of the term, obviously, if there is one) ladies and gents from working with them on group assignments. One time, I worked with Paul* on a short film from class. As the director, I assigned him to be the male lead, which meant he had to be around most of the time, or else we'd have nothing to shoot. It turned out that he had quite the obsessive girlfriend, and I swear, if she had taken any step further across the line, I would've ripped her hair out.

Let's call the girlfriend Bertha. Now Bertha held on to Paul's phone at all times because she didn't want anybody texting her dear boyfriend. Bertha also went batshit crazy when someone, even myself, sent Paul a text about anything -- from Bible verses to reminders about a certain school project we desperately needed to finish! 

I also know of someone named Agnes* who cannot be texted/called/DMed because her boyfriend doesn't "allow it". I'm not just saying that because I think that's what's going on; she really said to me that her boyfriend doesn't allow calls/texts. I also have some uni mates who can't access their Facebook accounts because their partners own them. For real.

If the issue is trust, don't you think the other person should have already established that by now? If you two were meant to be together, trust wouldn't be an issue in the first place. Both of you would know enough to trust each other and not have to wrap a CCTV around each other's heads. 

And also, being in a relationship does not mean you have to be stripped of your individuality. You can do other stuff on your own, things that you have/want to do, without asking for the permission of the other. You need to be you, and he/she needs to be himself/herself. No one should put you in a cage and stop you from growing as a person just because you've suddenly entered this status. I mean, honestly, is this a romantic relationship or an employee-subordinate relationship?

Look, I get that you're totally in love and that you would die if your relationship crumbled, but don't you think this is going a bit too far? Aren't these "rules" pushing you into a zone of complete unfairness? Don't you think you're dating someone who is getting closer to matching Christian Grey's control issues? Enlighten me, please.

If that's what relationships are all about, then I'm sure glad I'm not in one.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of these people. And also I don't want them to lunge at me.

Photo credit: Vladimir Kudinov | Unsplash
5 comments on "Bound to Boy/Girlfriend?"
  1. Thankfully, I'm single since the beginning of time and so far, don't have a friend who has a gf or bf that is crazy. Still, good post G! :)

    1. Hi Kassy! We're the presidents of the NBSB Club!

  2. This is so true. Trust is one of the most fundamental element in a relationship.
    But apparently jealousy only affects those who are self conscious about themselves.. do you think so too?
    Great post! ♥
    The Journeys of My Beating Heart

    1. Hello June! Trust can be formed in ways that do not have to take away the rightness of a relationship, am I right? Thanks for the comment! x <3

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