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Finding Yourself First

Sunday, January 17, 2016
Loneliness is viewed by some people as something negative, as something that they continually avoid. Who can blame them, really? Eating alone and watching movies by yourself aren't exactly activities that seem appealing. But even though being alone might seem unpleasant, it can be the most rewarding thing. 

I spent the last two years of high school being alone. It wasn't because I had no friends, but because I chose to be. During lunch, I would run to the library and stay there until next period (I ate, of course), while my friends went to the hot and busy cafeteria. I only meant to spend lunch at the library because I had lots of schoolwork to finish (I wanted to finish my homework in school so that I wouldn't have anything to do when I got home) but soon it turned into something I looked forward to. I appreciated the quiet, the time to think.

In college, I'm even more alone. My friends have different schedules, allowing them to be together almost all the time, while I, an 'irregular' student thanks to some not-so-smart life choices, am always left alone. For a while, I dreaded not being able to hang out with my friends. I didn't like walking to class alone, having lunch alone, waiting for class alone. High school was fine since I had to be alone for an hour only, but in college I have breaks that are six hours long. 

For a month, I wanted company. But in that month, I slowly began to like the company of myself. Why, you ask? Because I enjoyed the company of my thoughts. Because of it, I understood who I was and I knew what I wanted to be. Because I had no choice but to be with myself, I soon found that the best person I could be with was me. 

You could say that I found myself during that period. Being alone forced me to entertain some fears and doubts that I never dared to answer. I constantly asked myself questions, and by doing that, I discovered who I really was. At the end of the day, you will be alone with your thoughts, and even if you'll be surrounded by people, it's still your thoughts that determine how you are.

Loneliness can be great in helping you find yourself. Don't focus on finding yourself through other people -- their values and attitudes can shape who you are, but you need to establish who you truly are before trying to make some changes. 

Find yourself first so that you'll know what you want. Don't strive to become someone for others, or to fit in a certain stereotype just to please society. Once you know who you are, everything else will fall into place. Create someone who you can be proud of.

Find yourself first because at the end of the day, the only person that matters is you.
4 comments on "Finding Yourself First"
  1. I can relate to this. I enjoy being with people, but I'm most comfortable being alone. I love having long stretches of time where I'm not focusing on myself in relation to other people, but on myself and what I want to get done. I've always been able to entertain myself alone. But I also love having the option of being with people if I want. I'm in my second semester of college and am no longer in any classes with my friends, but I talk to my roommate at least twice a day (each time is an event- she'll talk for hours if she can) and I eat dinner with one of my old friends every evening. But the majority of the time I'm alone, working on something, and I'm perfectly comfortable with my life being like that. I can happily say that I found myself a long time ago.

    1. Same here, Alicia. Glad you could relate to this! x

  2. I also love being alone. Being able to go home early and hide away in my room delights me so much. I also love being with my friends, laughing and going on adventures but I always end up wanting to go home to be alone and to recharge. Haha. I used to love being surrounded by people and noise, but now I've learned to appreciate the quiet and simply being able to do whatever you want and to think clearly. It's just a really great feeling!

    1. I can totally relate, haha! Sometimes I feel drained when I'm around people, and all I want to do is lock myself in a room and sleep.


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