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When You Don't Belong

Sunday, May 8, 2016
Some people belong in cliques. They begin to form a general characteristic, claiming an adjective that can describe all of them. Common things bind them together and they consider themselves real #SquadGoals. Lots of people belong to groups, but some people just can't seem to fit in one specific group. It's either they fit in nowhere or they fit in everywhere. While that may seem cool to some, it can be a bit of a problem -- but that doesn't mean it's entirely bad.

I've always sort of drifted around groups of friends. I've never really belonged to one group. I'm the kind of girl who is friends with a lot of people, but not "good" enough to be considered part of those people's groups. Sometimes I like the different energies and the different options that I have. But most times it sucks. I feel detached, unwanted, and it feels exhausting to try to belong. 

I guess that's what sucks most about not belonging anywhere. You're just sort of there, present but not really accepted. People know you, but not well enough. People like you, but not enough. You share laughs and smiles, but at the end of the day, you will go your own way, far from the group, which you never even belonged to. 

You start to think you're part of a group, but after a while, you realize that the rest of the group doesn't consider you as one of them. You try to fit in, to squeeze yourself within their qualities, but some things just don't match. It just seems difficult to find a place where you truly belong, to where you feel absolutely comfortable. 

You then start to think that maybe you don't want to belong anywhere in the first place. You actually like being alone, being your own one-woman/man army. You like having lots of friends and not having to restrict yourself to one group. You soon embrace your identity as the person everyone knows but does not truly know. Your best ally and friend is yourself. It has always worked that way, and that's fine. 

I think the best thing about being drifters is the sense of awareness we develop about ourselves. We aren't molded by our peers alone, but by our own judgments about our environment and ourselves. I think that the greatest strength we have is our ability to adapt to different groups and situations, while developing who we are as persons. 

So if you don't belong anywhere, that's cool. You don't have to belong anywhere. Find people you like and embrace their quirks. If it seems like you don't belong, let it go. Find yourself first and don't force yourself into a group just for the sake of belonging. 

We're drifters. Going with the flow, drifting to wherever the day takes us. And we never stop drifting. 

Photo credit: Jean Gerber
2 comments on "When You Don't Belong "
  1. I have been trying to write a post like this for a while. I have never felt like I truly belong somewhere. I have a best friend and we hang out with 3 other really good friends and I love them all, but none of them truly know me. I don't know if it's my fault for not being more open about everything, or if it's them just not caring about me enough to listen to the things that I'm going through.
    But I think I just learned to love my personal peace so much that I don't care anymore. I have never found a group where I would belong, but the closest right now are my roommates who are just amazing and so similar to me in personality that we basically just laugh all the time and I feel like I can be totally relaxed when I'm in our apartment. :)

    1. Oh crap, I thought I had replied to this when I first saw your comment! :(

      I'd love to read your post, if you ever make one! Please do, haha. Trust me, girl, it isn't your fault -- I think we all open up eventually, or at the right time. If you haven't opened up to them, that just means you haven't built enough trust yet! And that's totally cool! Time will reveal all the answers. x


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