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Stop Gossiping, Girl

Sunday, January 15, 2017
I want you to raise your hand if you've never gossiped about someone. If your hand is up, I thank you for being honest, but if it's not, I want you to go and find a mirror and take a good look at yourself. Come on, darling, we've all gossiped about someone at least once in our lives. Now, I want you to raise your hand if you ever felt good talking shit about someone. Again, I thank you for being honest.

Probably one of the greatest lessons I've taught myself in my unimpressive time on Earth is to stop spending too much time invested in the lives of others. Yes, I used to talk shit about other people, especially in school, but that's just something we all get to do at some point in our lives. The important thing is to know that you should stop because honey, it isn't good for you.
I guess the first question you should ask yourself is why. Why do you talk about other people more than you should? Why do you talk shit instead of talk them up? Why do you feel the need to waste your time on the personal matters of others, when you could be doing something productive?

Trust me, whatever reason or excuse you come up with, it won't truly make sense. Oh, so you talk shit because they're the kinds of people who deserve it? So you're telling me that they're weird, so it's just "basic human instinct" to gossip about how strange their behavior is? Give me a break, girl. Just stop and listen up. You can't justify something that's wrong to begin with. 

Then, ask yourself, "What good am I getting out of this?" Research says that actions are based on costs and benefits (forgive me, I've been writing my Review of Related Literature for weeks now...), so what are you gaining, exactly? I'll give you a minute to think about that.

Time's up. I'm guessing you don't have a valid answer.

Because there is no valid answer. Feeling satisfied after talking shit or gossiping about other people isn't a real reason to do it. Feeling satisfied at the expense of others isn't good. It's toxic. It's evil. It makes me question what kind of heart you have, or if you even have a heart...

The thing is, I don't understand what makes some people so invested in the business of others. Some sources say it's insecurity, some say it's because they lack certain traits that they find in these people they gossip about. We all have our reasons, I guess. I know I had mine, but I'm glad I got past that toxic phase. Can't we just let people do whatever floats their boat, unless that thing acts as a threat to mankind? 

Read this brilliant quote and ponder on it for a while: The energy you'll expend focusing on someone else's life is better spent working on your own.

I decided to include that Sophia Amoruso quote because it's one of my favorite quotes from #Girlboss, plus she's absolutely right with what she says. Let's say you spend an hour gossiping with your friends about that new girl at work. That's an hour of possibilities wasted. We don't think about it, because we're so engrossed with adding fuel to the gossip fire, but we've already wasted precious time. We could have started businesses with the collective time we've spent gossiping. We could have found amazing people to work with. We could have improved as individuals.

One of the things I've trained myself to do is talk positive things about people. It can feel a bit odd at first, having to sound so 'admiring', but in this filthy world, any good talk about someone is a breath of fresh air. Replace foul words with words of encouragement. Turn talking shit about others into talking about the accomplishments of others. Take away the hate and jealousy, and try looking at others as sources of inspiration. Then, work on you.

Work on your passions. Work on your friends. Work on your life.

 YOUR life. Not theirs.

*I understand that gossiping applies to all genders, but for title purposes, allow me to use 'girl' alone.
3 comments on "Stop Gossiping, Girl"
  1. YES! This is so important! Sometimes I'm guilty of talking poorly about others, but it's not worth it and it's a habit everyone should hope to break. Great post!

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