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There's Always Something

Wednesday, February 22, 2017
I was a bitch back then. Correction: I was a judgmental, antisocial and outspoken as hell bitch back then. Sorry, I had to make the distinction because I still am a bitch (my definition: someone strong and knows what she wants, and goes after them by being a #girlboss), but nothing like who I was before.

I've made it clear on this blog that I've been through a total bitch phase for, like, most of my life. It wasn't until recently that I managed to break from that behavior and turn into someone more... humane, if I had to put it so bluntly/accurately. 

The thing is, I know a lot of people hated me back then. They thought I was too serious. They hated my ambitious attitude. They often told me to loosen up and learn how to live life. Often, people would tell me to be less outspoken. When it came to physical appearance, people would ask me why I never did my eyebrows or why I never bothered to put on lipstick. People wanted me to dress more "feminine" and show off my curves.

I didn't really care, to be honest. I was just doing me, and I was letting them do their thing. It was all pretty basic. But, as time passed, and as I turned off that Ultra Bitch switch, I changed a lot. If you had to ask someone who has known me since my Ultra Bitch days, they would tell you that I have become someone totally different.

You'd think those people who didn't like me back then would give me a round of applause and finally learn to like me, but nope. They'll always find something to talk about.

Now, Gail wears too much makeup. Now, Gail acts too fearlessly. Now, Gail needs to concentrate on school work more. Now, Gail has lost weight. Now, Gail has gotten weak and needs to become bossier. It would seem like all the aspects of my personality that they once hated are now the things that they want back. So silly, so ironic.

Honestly, what do you want me to become?

But that's just it, isn't it? People will always have something to talk about and comment on. Someone will always be watching what you're doing, making you wonder what it is about your life that makes you so interesting, that they would spend even a minute of their day all up in your business. People will always have something negative to say about you. They will always have something they won't like about you. 

People will never find the "balance" that makes you OK in their eyes. Negatives will always outweigh the positives. 

There will always be people who find you so interesting -- more interesting than you actually are. (Like honestly, why you so concerned about me? You in love with me or something? Jokes.) I don't know why they'd invest so much time in the business of others (insecurity? jealousy?) but hey, that's what makes them happy. 

I've heard people say that I've changed because of the people I've been hanging out with, and while that may be partially true (because some studies do support this), I'd like to say one thing: the decision to change was my own. I believe that I have always had these aspects of my personality, but never got the chance to express them. Some people will argue that I've gotten "weak" but honestly, I think I've gotten better. I've improved. And that's my victory.

And you know what? People will always have something to talk about. So give 'em something to talk about. 

Excel. Succeed. Be your best self, even if that sounds cliche. And, finally, remember this:

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Aim for the first.
4 comments on "There's Always Something"

  2. Divas don't do drama, we do business. heads up buttercup <3 #girlboss

  3. gail, seeing you go through your semester with such good vibes and confidence really makes me want to put up with mine. thank yo ufor being an inspiration


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